• The JOLO Lifestyle Blog

Are Social Media Friendships Real?

Making new friends on a social media platform is common practice. I mean, everyone has friends on their "friend list" that they've never met right? Maybe you have never stood directly in front of each one of your friends in your list but you share some sort of connection with them.

So here's the thing! I have Facebook friendships with people I feel I can resonate with. Technology gives us the ability to maintain online friendships whether it be through Skype, FaceTime or even Messenger.

Busy people all over the world understand that time restraints sometimes calls for nontraditional interaction with people. And lets face it, closing deals in heels can easily become building an empire in Chanel slippers (Umm, yes please!). Text messaging and status updates is the new norm.

I admit, I add more women to my growing friend list then I do men, but the reason for this is better suited for another blog. Most of the people on my friendship list come from outside requests, meaning random strangers requesting to be my friend. And heck, why not? I attract good energy like that! Most of the friend request that I receive are from people who have read my book Lush & Luxe; Powered by Positivity. I often send out friend request to people, and they're usually accepted. Usually being the operative word.

Facebook limits your friend list to a maximum of 5000 people. Like, really? I am all for friendship so the more the merrier! I seriously can't get enough of all you amazing people. I value each and every one of you. I make it my priority to respond to each message and comment personally, granted I'm sure I've missed a few. I am only human.

With my personal Facebook friend list pushing this limit, (I know, first world problems) I like to add friends that I find encouraging, uplifting and show positive flow. Last week, I friend requested a woman I didn't know personally but I knew she had my first book Too Close To Almost. I love connecting with people who have read my work. I'm a total conversationalist that way. I awaited her reply, what I didn't expect was her response.

She private messaged me asking if I had listed her as a family member. This caught me by surprise so naturally in between getting my kids out the door on time for school and checking the validity to her claim, I had zero time to process her message. Nope, no family member status applied, and why would it be? I guess somewhere in the Rolodex of Facebook glitches, a notification showed up on her end that I listed her as a family member. Although strange, would the error have really been that terrible?

I double checked our friend status and assured her that no family member tagging was showing up on my side. The problem solver in me offered to unfriend and re-friend her back to help correct the glitch. Using the words unfriend and re-friend sounds strange enough but wait until you hear what she wrote back.

And I quote, "Yesterday we had 11 mutual friends and now it's 18. Small world. I already have your first book. I'm not sure if this is your marketing strategy or not but it's kind of creepy. So... for that reason I am not accepting your request. I won't flag you as spam."

Wow right? Her words seem to come from a place of distrust, directed at me personally. An innocent friend request gone completely rogue. Naturally I told her that I respect her decision and even assured her that I had no hidden agenda. But lets get serious for a moment! First, it's not uncommon for a person to have in increase in mutual friends. I mean, I do accept friend request on a daily, possibly pushing our number of mutual friends upwards. 6 degrees of separation, hello! Also, who even says, "for that reason I'm..." Are we on Shark Tank? And for that reason, I'm out!

I harbored this refusal of friendship for a few days (which is totally not me!) and then I snapped out of it!

Social media friendships are great, but can they be fake? I'm not one hundred percent convinced either way. I do know that words are real and can have an impact on a persons day. Whether send via text, private message or spoken, words can leave a lasting impression.

Will I be hurt by the social media friendship rejection? No! But I will take something away from the experience. There's no shame in my game. I will not hide behind a social media wall (or a beautiful Chanel bag) because what someone thinks of me is none of my business! Lesson learned.

Stay beautiful! Choose your friends carefully and your words wisely.

Just an FYI, my newest book Femme Fabulous is now available. Don`t miss out on exclusive interview from amazing women, including, Vicki Gunvalson from The Housewives of Orange County, Joan Kelley Walker from The Housewives of Toronto and the gorgeous Ronnie Stevenson from The Housewives of Vancouver. When I talk about friendship, these 3 particular ladies come to mind. Femme Fabulous, check it out!

Always with gratitude and a growing friend list.



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