SORRY DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THE HARDEST WORD!
Oooops, I did it again! I jumped to a conclusion, and proved myself wrong. It's not a very good feeling to be wrong, especially when children are involved. As a parent, I've preached more to my children about the importance of personal ownership including admitting when you are wrong. You know what I'm talking about right? Owning it! Today, I must practice what I preach.
This morning, during the mad rush of getting the kids ready and off to school proved to be more hectic than normal. The fact that I was living off nearly three hours sleep didn't help but there are no excuses when it comes to owning our wrongs or righting our wrongs.
You see, my household seems to always be in shambles. My kids have a tendency to leave their belongings all around the house, including the things they touch that don't belong to them. Normal for a typical child, I get it, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't teach them to clean up after themselves. I'm always the first one to go around and tidy up their mini messes. Why? Because I'm a little obsessed like that. Lately, I've been asking (okay nagging) them to put their toys away once they are finished playing with them. Somehow all my nagging efforts have not sunk in. After repeating myself over and over, the message gets mundane and it eventually falls upon deaf ears. Are any of you Mom's out there relating to this? Suggestions are are always welcome.
Tired, disheveled and fresh out of giving two fucks, I flipped into irritated Mommy mode when I
couldn't find a pen. Not just any pen! It had to be the light blue pen I use to personalize copies of my book. Sounds ridiculous right? In hindsight, yes it is! But, at that rushed moment while trying to get out the door on time, kids to school and to the post office to mail out all the weekend's book orders, I felt rushed and unorganized. Truthfully, I should have prepared the personalized copies of Lush & Luxe; Powered by Positivity Books the night before but I didn't. I didn't because I'm not always perfect, or even that organized.
So where does sorry come into the picture? It comes in when I had time to think about my actions....and my words. The same actions that I'm not proud of and even a little embarrassed to tell you about. During my frantic search for this particular pen, I ranted an entire 15 minutes to the kids about not being able to find my pen. I even shamelessly accused my kids of taking it off my work space so they could use it in their creatives. They assured me they didn't touch it, and in return I assured them they must have because I always put things back where they belong. Yup! Here's where I was wrong.
As it turned out, the missing pen was buried at the bottom of my handbag (insert feeling like a total ass right now). So, while my kids are at school, probably feeling less than amazing, I'm at home preparing my apology to them. I feel it's just as important to apologize to your children from making a mistake, even if it means admitting you were wrong.
My childish tantrum not only modeled bad behavior to my kids, it also justified acting out without merit. Is there really any merit to bad behavior? I'm going with no, but there is opportunity!
Owning and celebrating mistakes is just as important as celebrating joys. So in the end, I will use this poor placed object and equally poor behavior as a learning moment for all of us. Most importantly I will say I'm sorry to my children for my unacceptable behavior in hopes they can learn that adults make mistakes too. Mistakes are not meant to be shameful, but rather lessons to be learned.
With love, strength and apology,
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